i heart

12.25.11

Just Because...

I sure love My Sweets. In fact, he's the best man I've ever met. The best friend. The best father. The best.... of the best.







I love that he spent a whole morning stringing lights--it's one of his least fave things to do--because the rest of us adore twinkle lights. I love that he went out for an errand and surprised the children with a snowman bearing balloons. I love that he is warm and funny and charming and quiet. I love that he gets us, challenges us, supports us. I love that he moves Luca before bed if I forget.







I love that I can't wait for him to walk through the door! I love that his handsomeness makes my heart pound from 100 yards away. I love that he will run a bubble bath and bring me champagne. I love that he makes me laugh out loud... after 19 years. I love that we can sit by the outdoor fire pit after dark {just us} and not say a word. Simply be. I love that I can tell him anything. A-n-y-t-h-i-n-g. I love that he's my #1 fan. And I his.


I love that he plays guitar, nurtures our sons and dances with our daughter. I love that when I had a less-than-awesome week here he came home with my guiltiest pleasure {fried dumplings}. And as we sat down to eat them together he slipped me an envelope from my favorite spa. Inside was a note saying he'd booked me a treatment for Friday at 2:15. "Just because."


Yup, he's a keeper. I would have been elated with a plain old shower {one where I didn't have to keep the door open and watch after my crew at the same time}. The facial was such a treat though! I almost fell asleep. And when I returned home two hours later there were three beautiful children running about and a wrapped box of chocolates from our village chocolatier on the counter. Happy weekend!


P.S. 'Tis the season for winter fireworks, festivals and tree lightings. Plus, Buby has a longhouse to build from scratch before Monday for his Native American Homes Project, and we are headed to a friend's country house on Sunday to celebrate ThanksMas. Excited!

Guest Post by Tom

This is Tom's post to Jenny.

After 11 years of marriage, 3 ½ years engaged, 6 months dating, and 4 ½ years of denying our love (while best of friends), I am more in love with Jenny today than ever. She has been with me one way or another for more than half my life, and I cannot imagine a life without her. She’s my earthly everything. My true love. My best friend. My inspiration. My children’s Mother.


After so much time, and with a never-ending journey still ahead, anniversary gifts become inadequate vehicles of appre ciation. This year I thought I would give Jenny something she probably thought I was incapable of giving... me identifying my favorite everything about her. I’ll let Jenny explain in a future post, but basically I don’t do “faves.”


For me there isn’t a more mean ingful medium to share my thoughts than her blog since it has meant so much to me over the years. So with that, I ask Jenny to indulge me for a few moments and just enjoy.

This is my favorite photo of Jenny {above}. It has been in my wallet, forever. I took it in a park in her hometown. It means a lot to me because I know the story hiding behind her eyes. It was a period of time that was a turning point in our relationship from best friends who fell in love to much more.

The grapes on her necklace represented something deeply personal that we shared. When she lost those plastic grapes, it kind of signaled a freedom from that. The photo holds still a time when I knew there was no way I was going to let this girl go, again. I knew I wanted to hold her forever.

My favorite thing about Jenny is that she is an incredible mother to our children and she still finds time to love me.

My favorite date with Jenny was the summer of ’96, dancing slowly in candlelight on the beach, our second first kiss.

My favorite job was working on the mowing crew with Jenny, pretending I wasn’t watching her as she strutted across the lawn with her sun-dyed hair, brown skin, and sexy jeans. She always smelled divine in the summer air.

My favorite kiss seems to come with every next kiss. Seriously.

My favorite physical attribute of Jenny’s, which I promise there are many, starts with the back of her neck.

My favorite characteristic of Jenny’s is that she appreciates everything and expresses it.

My favorite moments in life are always in her presence.

My favorite nicknames she uses for me are Sweets and Tommy.

My favorite memories are Jenny walking down the grassy path at our wedding just as the rain broke, and the days she held our babies for the first time.

My favorite adventures have been riding in the Jeep with her and the kids to nowhere in the mountains, with the top off.

My favorite holiday memory was the time we tried to make everyone happy and ate three full Thanksgiving dinners within six hours.

My favorite moonlight story featured the motorcycle, the backdrop of a warm, steamy night, a lonely pond, and a full moon.

My favorite inside joke is ssa.

My favorite minute is now.

My favorite is Jenny.

Here is my Top 100, everything I love about Jenny. Believe it!

1) She shares my faith

2) Her morals are impeccable

3) She said yes

4) She’s Buby’s Mom

5) She’s Bleu’s Mom

6) She’s Ollie’s Mom

7) I love her family

8) She loves my family

9) I’ve never not trusted her

10) She’s never not trusted me

11) She’s an incredible professional

12) She’s so smart

13) She’s the best editor

14) She’s the best writer

15) She’s an accomplished designer

16) She’s an incredible photographer

17) She never puts herself first, but she should sometime

18) She can ride a motorcycle and it’s sexy

19) She’s a great example

20) She’s inspirational to many

21) She loves me unconditionally

22) She makes me a better man

23) She is full of passion

24) Her expectations are fair

25) She lets me be me, and she loves it

26) We started with nothing

27) We built everything together

28) We could be just as good with nothing

29) She likes to fish

30) She likes to camp

31) She loves to travel

32) She’ll try new food even though she doesn’t want to

33) She thinks I’m the best cook

34) She always does what’s best for our family

35) She chose TomTom and not Garmin or Magellan

36) She keeps me connected through our blog

37) She recognizes sacrifice

38) She rarely complains

39) Her embrace

40) Her kisses

41) Her lips

42) Her hands

43) Her eyes

44) Her smile

45) Her butt

46) Her choice of friends

47) Her choice of schools

48) She reads many books to the kids

49) Her parties

50) Her planning

51) Her cute designs

52) Her lists

53) Her piles

54) Long walks to nowhere in particular

55) Her inability to choose between simple, insignificant things

56) Her ability to make big decisions

57) Late mornings in bed

58) Date nights

59) She still looks into my eyes when we talk

60) Her very detailed stories

61) Her ability to tell 10 stories at once

62) That she eats ice cream for breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, and late-night

63) That she feeds the kids healthy foods and snacks

64) She cares, always

65) Her big brown eyes staring me down

66) Her love

67) Her heart

68) Her will

69) Her desire

70) Her determination

71) She’s a real woman

72) When she wears a simple tank top or white tee

73) When she surprises me with a carrot cake cupcake

74) The way she decorated our house

75) She’s simple

76) She’s complex

77) She’s reasonable

78) She’s crazy

79) She wants the best for all

80) She’s sensitive

81) She hurts

82) She cries

83) She laughs

84) She’s shy

85) She’s bold

86) She’ll do anything

87) She speaks French

88) She took me to Paris

89) She took me to Spain

90) She brought me to NYC

91) She let us live in the country

92) She wears my socks

93) She protects our children

94) She pays the bills

95) She manages the insurance company

96) Her favorite number is 3... and 3 is a great number

97) Our children love her so, so much

98) I love her so, so much

99) She still says yes

100) She’s my wife and I’m her husband

I love you babe. Happy anniversary.

Old Photo Friday

May 20, 2000. It's funny. I never wanted a big wedding. Between us, I would've loved to marry this man on a mountain top, in a simple slip, not a soul in sight.


I didn't need a bachelorette party or champagne toasts or bouquets of freesia to commit to this man. I didn't need embossed paper or taper candles or still shots. I didn't need cake tastings, handmade favors, bustles or blocks of hotel rooms. I didn't need a disc jockey... just my guy on a mountain with a mixed tape of our songs.


The whole year before we married I tried cut people out, edit the list, make the evening smaller. Sounds awful, but I just kept thinking the more guests we invited--the more traditions we embraced--the less us it would be. And I loved us. As is.


But one thing I learned in the process is that the day wasn't just about us. Not to other people it wasn't. It was a celebration of our collective families... our friends. They were excited and wanted to be a part, so we let them in. A wedding does not a marriage make--this we knew--but garden I dos and raspberry cream cake wasn't exactly a crime either--I would realize. I insisted we keep it under 100 and handle the details ourselves.


Then I allowed my maid of honor to talk me into a veil and heals. I let my dad pay for dinner. We even stood in awkward formations for a half hour after the ceremony to cover our bases {though they aren't the shots I love today}. We allowed people to put other people on the list, even though they weren't our people by any means. We even did the garter thing {gasp} so my baby brother could dive roll to catch it for his Katie.


So maybe I never played dress-up as a little girl, pretended to marry my dad, or planned out the "perfect" wedding before there was a Mr. in the picture. But I did dream about love and friendship and passion. And I found it all in Tom. Nothing else mattered. So we had a big fat party of 110, toasted each other to tears and danced all night. And it was absolutely wonderful. Go figure.

A Note to My Sweets

I've loved you always.

And every single day.

You are my lover and my best friend.

Thank you for being you and for loving me.

Let's have a big party for our 75th. Cool?


~ Jenny


P.S. If you need 100 reasons why I simply adore you, click here. I could easily add 100 more. You are THAT good of a man. Happy 10th anniversary, My Sweets.

i heart

Hearts are sort of my thing. Always have been. My engagement ring is a heart. Did you know that? I sign my letters with a heart. I am passionate in matters of the heart.


I have a strange way of finding tangible little hearts in the most unlikely of places. Ordinary objects can be extraordinary on second glance. I've stumbled upon heart-shaped rocks on our strolls down to the river. I've caught a heart leaf--fresh from its branch--in the palm of my hand. I've picked up heart shells on Atlantic beaches and beyond. Each time I am amazed at my luck and reminded of all the love in my life. For instance...


I've been crushing on the same guy for like 18 years now. Still every bit IN love. The first 10 or so I would pinch myself daily. I didn't trust that I was deserving or capable of so much. Now I know I am and give many thanks for my blessings. My Sweets is not perfect and neither am I, but I like to think we're a lil' bit perfect together. Despite his insistence that I'm color blind {I'm not}, the fact that our style sensibilities can clash, we don't always like the same music or shows, I'm chatty and he's not. Etc. Etc. But he stole my heart one cold winter night in 1992 and gave it back to me 10 fold. It's been bubbling over ever since.


My experience tells me that healthy relationships can flourish with a bit of tender loving care. They are stretchy and durable to a point, but they like respect and compromise and attention paid. Good relationships needn't be easy, but they shouldn't be hard either. My heart breaks not for those who have loved and lost, but for those who've settled for less and never fully known what love can be. There's nothing more sexy, inspiring or comforting all at once. I treasure Tom's and my story. It's a fantastical mix of past, present and future. Of shared adventures, bedtime whispers, grand gestures and simple pleasures.


On top of that we share a son, a daughter, a duty of raising those awesome little people to be awesome big people. Who, above all, know what it is to love and be loved. I'm forever striving to be a better version of me, for them.


I wonder. Could that be why the universe throws so many hearts my way? Because I am able to catch them in my hand, fish them out of sand and water, recognize them in a 5 lb. bag of potatoes? I don't know, but I say keep it coming.

Urban Cowboy #1

Artwork by Me

Because who wouldn't want to come home to love notes in chalk?

8.14.09. Mama's helper.

My Music Man

He plays the guitar every night before bed. He doesn't do it for me. Or for the kids. He does it for himself. But I can hear him from any room in the house, and it's absolutely my favorite time of the day.

Me, Too

Photo of us by Blue Lily.

All snuggly in our bed last night.




He whispered: I love you.

I whispered back: I love you.

He said: I love us.

Discovery

I was sure I knew every park within a 50 mile radius of where we live. But it seems I somehow missed the very best one. Saturday morning the kids + I left for soccer practice at 9 a.m. My Sweets headed out then, too, but he was driving his motorcycle into the city for a ribbon-cutting work thingy.



An hour later my cell rang. It was My Sweets saying he missed us already. He couldn't stand the thought of missing Buby play and not spending the day with us. Saturdays are ours, he said. I encouraged him to continue on, but he said he was turning around and would meet us anywhere we wanted. The kids and I were headed to a Music in the Park festival about 40 minutes away.



When I pulled into the dusty lot, there he was leaning against his bike {so sexy} waving to the kids in the window. Oh my heart. This boy is as good as they come. He helped us out of the car, and we went on to have a most fantastic Saturday.



This park had the best setup. It was an awesome discovery. P.S. The music + fried dough wasn't bad either. I can't wait to go back.

The Great Escape

Saturday night My Sweets kidnapped me to this beautiful place in the mountains. It was our first real dinner date in a while, and {as usual} I had no idea where he was taking me. I wore my "Snoopy" boots and a pretty fabric flower in my hair.


The woodsy air was fresh. The hour-long motorcycle ride empowering. The gardens fragrant. The atmosphere laid back. The food decadent. The lil' red birds distracting. The conversation inspiring. The fireside chat a bit flirty. The sunset an electrifying shade of pink. The ride home freezing at times but worth every second.


It was such a treat to have a few hours alone with My Sweets. We go out to eat, but we are usually a party of 4. We've learned to hit nicer restaurants before the crowds. We go prepared with sippy cups, waters and healthy snacks. Buby has been fine dining with us since he was born, and both kiddos are so well behaved that we {mostly} enjoy taking them everywhere.


That said, I know My Sweets would love to kidnap me more often. He's always trying to get me on the bike, which I love. BUT we live 5 hours from family and just haven't connected with any awesome babysitters since Bleu was born. Our few local friends have their own hectic schedules + wee ones to chase after. When we visit Family Land we sometimes have Grandma DJ put Buby to bed while we sneak out, but Bleu has always come with. When family stays with us, we often put one or both kids to bed ourselves and then slip out for a bite within walking distance of the house.


Honestly, I just stink at the separation anxiety thing. I had no idea before becoming a mom that it would be so hard to leave them with other people. And since both Buby + Bleu breastfed the first year, we're sort of connected at the nip during that time. I'm cool with it. My Sweets is cool with it. Bleu is especially cool with it, since she hasn't expressed any interest in weaning yet. {We're so close, and I wouldn't trade that for all the freedom in the world. Babies are teeny for such a short time.} She screamed bloody murder when I walked out the kitchen door on Saturday, but within 5 minutes Grandma had her up in the playroom window smiling + laughing goodbye with her brother. It set my mind at ease.


By the way, riding through the mountains on a Harley... at sunset... with the man of your dreams... there's nothing like it. The Catskills are an incredible sight. Whenever Tom + I are out gallivanting on the bike I feel 16 again... with the guy who turned his engine off down the block so my parents wouldn't know he was picking me up on a Crotch Rocket.


When we got within a mile of our house I proposed we finally break in that babysitter whose number I've been sitting on. She's a senior in high school, and we know her from our coffee shop. We can start slow, like lunch in the village. We'd love to plan on a bike date every other weekend this summer though.

Eternity, Please

This is the front of the card I made for My Sweets today.


I thanked him for the last 9 years of marriage. I thanked him for being him and for loving me. But of course, I'm selfish and I want more. I want 68 YEARS more. I want to be crazy old with this man. I want eternity with this man. Please.


Tom is my guy. My bff. My first + always love. I have been crushing on him since I was a kid. Well, 16. Yes, he is that good. It took us a few years to get together, but thank God we made it happen. Surely I would've been doomed to a lifetime of crushing on him... from afar. There was just no getting over this one. He rocked my world with his awesomeness.


We met one Tuesday night in October of '92, and I knew I would know him forever. One of my single girlfriends always used to ask me, "But how did you know? How did you know he was the one?" I just did. You just do. When it's right it's right and nothing else is. You don't think it, you feel it. Instantly.


To be able to love and truly be loved is the greatest gift. It makes everything I do in life mean more. When I think about what I want for my children, it's health, happiness, and love. A love that believes anything is possible. A love that respects and encourages and listens and challenges. A love that is passionate. A love that grows with them. A love... like ours.


Happy Wedding Anniversary, My Sweets. I'm quoting Pooh bear in saying, "If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day so I never have to live without you."


If that makes me a hopeless romantic, c'est la vie.

The Frog Whisperer

Very cool frog image from here.

We didn't get much sleep around here last week due to a constant high-pitched chirping outside all of our windows. I love nature sounds as much as the next girl, but by Friday night... Ugh. I came home from the market with Bleu and ran into my neighbor. I yelled, "Oh that bird!!" He laughed at me like I was city folk and said it was some kind of tree frog.

Tree frog? I raced inside to tell My Sweets the breaking news. He stood up like George of the Jungle and told me he would go catch that tree frog. Right, whatever. I went upstairs to put Bleu to bed. When I finally came back down My Sweets was just getting home. He walked in all sweaty and covered in tree debris. Wait! The chirping was gone! I yelled in my most shocked + confused voice, "You caught the frog?" He smiled and proceeded to the sink. I ran into his arms. "I love you! I love you! I love you!" Then I darted outside to make sure I wasn't dreaming. It was for reals.

My Sweets said he followed the chirping and eventually got the frog into his glove-covered hands. He walked it down the block to the mayor's house and released it in his front yard. Love that. Man of nature and humor.


Fast forward two blissful nights. The all around obnoxious chirping was back!!! Well, either that or he/she had babies before My Sweets frognapped him. So out George went again. This time he caught the frog inside a little box with holes and made him sleep in our garage overnight. The next morning he dropped the frog at the train station. There are nice woods there. And to all a good night, for now, thanks to The Frog Whisperer.

Remember When

Very dorky, very embarrassing, very favorite old photo.



Last night My Sweets + I climbed into bed. Babies out. Lights out. We said our love yas and cuddled up to our perspective pillows pretty exhausted. A few minutes later I heard an out of the blue whisper. The best kind. He said "Remember when......?" "Yes, of course. That was insane." We giggled for many minutes recalling a time, as teens, when we were hired to cater a fancy French party at some professor's house and didn't know we'd have to cook. Things caught on fire. We flirted. Good times. We said goodnight. Then I whispered "Remember when...... ?" And all over again, we started to laugh. "How did we find out about that pond anyway?" "Your brother." "Oh, right." Haha. This went on for a while. Bien sure. He's my suitor. My best friend. My person. We have 16 years of Remember Whens in our vault. More than half my life I've been intrigued by this Tom guy. I can't remember what I had for lunch most days, but I can see every moment I've ever shared with him, magical and otherwise, fresh in my head. I asked him if he remembers the night we met {this week in 1992}, and he described in detail my plaid skirt, brown suede coat, and terribly timid demeanor. I drifted off into a happy slumber.


By all accounts, the above photo is superbad with its banquet hall lighting + general awkwardness. I look so snotty, but really I was between smiles and without a clue where to position that right arm. And nervous, my heart about to pound right out of that lil' pink dress from Paris. His whole family was watching.


And still, I treasure this photo. It was the first one taken of My Sweets + I, long before there was an 'us'. He showed up at my work one day to bring me the momento. I starred at it often ~ in my juvenile obsessive way ~ wishing upon a star he would some day, some how fall mad in love with that girl in the photo. Oh lucky me... he did.