No More Tears

Buby isn't awesome at goodbyes, especially when it means putting Grandma on a plane after a four-day stretch. But I've learned a few tricks over the years to avoid the inevitable mope that follows.


I used to do it all wrong. I'd make a huge deal out of the send off, roll down Buby's window, let him shout out to her one last time as we pulled away. On the way home he'd whimper from the back seat "I miss Grandma already" and wait for my reaction. I'd agree and invite him to tell me all his favorite things about their time together. His lower lip would quiver and I'd reach my hand back for his. Then the crying would start. Oh the crying.


This routine might be swell for an older child, or a less sensitive one, but not for four-year-old Buby. I thought I was being sweet and supportive, but really I was unknowingly encouraging him to feel worse. And who wants their baby down spiraling every time a loved one leaves town? I do not. It ruins the rest of Buby's day and mine, too. Lately I've smartened up and our goodbyes have been much happier. Here is my commonsense strategy.


* Agree on a date that we'll all see each other again {even if it's not set in stone}, and focus on that.


* Don't dawdle at Departing Flights. Give hugs and kisses and drive away. Grandma never leaves until we leave, and the longer she stands there her eyes water, which doesn't help. I think that's what started it all... Buby is incredibly empathetic, sees tears, and thinks he needs to respond in kind.


* Have a snack and drink at the ready. Food is the ultimate diversion.


* Don't answer my cell after leaving the airport. Grandma likes to call when she gets to the gate with one more thing but this only reminds Buby that she will miss him and vice versa. They can talk tomorrow.


* Ask Buby where he wants to go on our next "free day."


* Sing recital songs. If I get a word wrong, he corrects me and sings it from the top.


Tom and I love how connected Buby feels to the people in his life. It's an amazing blessing considering how far we live from family. Of course I have to remind both grandmas to hold back their farewell tears for the car and plane rides home, because it's just not fair to the Bubster. He feels everything that kid.