Potty Humor

This is the Sesame Street soft seat Buby uses for toilet training. It's more a prop than anything these days, and you'll see why in a minute. Buby told us quite early on that he got the general idea of potty. We were surprised but delighted. Didn't force the issue. Wouldn't dare. Since he could stand, he has stood during every diaper change. He insisted and has been in Pull-Ups for as long as I can remember. He would sign to me whenever his diaper was dirty. Later, he would sign when he was ABOUT to go potty, even specifying pee vs. poo with a light tap in front or back. Wow, that was cool. And went on for weeks. Okay, he's forcing the issue, we thought. Daddy and I ran out and bought three potties, one for each bathroom. The seats suggest 18+ months, and the books even older. But he met every readiness sign in the "What to Expect" series shortly after turning a year. Still, it was early yet, so we just made them part of our decor. For months he'd sit on his potty (like a chair) while Mama or Daddy sat on theirs, imitating everything. EVERYthing. Adorable. He had several successes. Yippie! That said, Buby has a new outlook on potty. It goes something like this.

He tells me he has to go potty. He signs potty and walks into the bathroom, expecting me to follow. I say, "Potty?" He says, "DA" (translation: yes). I say "Okay." Off with the pants and onto the big boy seat. "Sure you have to go potty?" "DA!" He sits there for about 2.5 seconds and then signs "ALL DONE." I say "All done, really?" "DA!" How about we count to 10 or play catch or watch Mama juggle like a circus clown? I do it all. What do you mean none of these tricks work? They used to. He won't sit another millisecond. Okay, Buby. He grabs 3 squares of toilet paper from the roll and fake wipes himself. Then a fake wipe for the tush. He asks to get down. Immediately turns to flush the toilet. Skips across the room to grab his step stool, which he carries to the sink. Climbs up, puts his hands out for soap, and says "PEEZE." I squirt soap into his hand and turn on the water. He washes up, looks at me for the hand towel, and grins big! Every time. Mind you, he never did actually go.

5 minutes pass and I smell something. Buby goes in his diaper. I say "Did you go potty?" "NO!" "Sure you didn't go?" "NO!" Now he's running away from me. I'm faster. So the clean diaper is on. 5 minutes pass. He tells me he has to go potty. He signs potty and walks into the bathroom. I say "Potty?" He says, "DA!" Like to say "duh!" And here we go again. The joys. I have to turn away to laugh sometimes or Buby will catch on that he's hilarious. And do this to me forever.